Before you can lead anyone, you must first leader yourself. A good leader is a good follower and if you are leading yourself it takes following your values, your heart and your principles to do so. That has nothing to do with playing it safe and everything to do with taking a risk. You do that because you have something at stake.
very word you utter, carries intent. That intent manifest through words. It is a moment by moment experience that we are always creating. The first building block of our creation is our thoughts, followed by our words, which we declare, and they are our correlate of prayer. This is true, even if, you are not religious or spiritual.
Your words are like tools; the tools of creation. Words are how we call in what we want and how we affirm our reality.
We all have people in our life “like that”! People that we know we can trust and count on… Don’t we? I can put my hand on my heart and say there is NO ONE in my life that I do not wish to have in it. I only have people in my life I cherish and have a deep mutual respect for.
You either learn to say NO, or you fall victim to other people’s agendas or worse their expectations. What happens when they don’t align with your expectations and values? You end up being resentful. There is an old saying about resentment. It goes like this:
Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Learning to say NO is an act of self-care; it’s an act of courage!
It is not the goal to eliminate the internal dialogue and getting the inner critic under control is essential both from the perspective of creating a compelling vision and from a practical day to day point of view as nobody is at their best when they are down on themselves. If it is true for you that you wouldn’t tolerate being beaten-up on by others, start to demand the same of yourself. After all, you would accept nothing less from others: Lose the double standard.
I found myself in a bind between what I was committed to – a natural birth – and caving in. It was at that point that the midwife, my birthing partner, took me by the hand, held my gaze and said. “You’re doing really well, and you’re almost there. You can do this”.
Did it lessen the pain?
No. After all, no one would have blamed me if I had given up on my birthing plan. Not even me. What it did do, in a moment where I could easily have given up was spur me on. The kind and supportive words of a woman who was in truth, a stranger, involved in one of the most intimate of life’s experiences, held the space for me.
There are no guarantees in life. If you throw your hat in the ring and dare to try something different or create something new, the one thing you can bank on is getting your butt kicked. When you take that as a given, now the choice is simple. Avoid getting your butt kicked, or step onto the court knowing full well you may get a whooping. If not now, it’s coming at some point. And I’m going to do it anyway.
Creating milestones on the way to achieving goals is a great way to both keep yourself on track and to keep you focused along the way. They are particularly important if your goal seems a long way off or particularly hard to achieve. Stopping to celebrate your progress at predetermined points will help keep you motivated. Motivation comes and goes, and if you are depending on motivation to carry the day, you’re leaving your success to chance.
So what exactly is PERT planning? To summarize you begin by crystalising the objective and work backwards from there. By working backwards or planning backwards all of the steps and milestones become evident. All of the tasks fall out of that and so do the risks. Once all of those factors have been identified plans for contingencies can also be made, once the risks and pitfalls have been identified and potential work-rounds created.
Adhering strictly to the rules (fixed mindset) won’t fly here. Often, it doesn’t fly in life or in business either. You need to be adaptable (growth mindset); it is one of the keys to success.