We take things for granted because we experience the benefits of what those before us have fought for. And, we aren’ there yet. Inequality is everywhere. If we are to empower those around us what is foundational is learning to empower ourselves and that, like anything worth having, takes some work to achieve. In an instant gratification world, that isn’t so appealing.
Things that are not important and not urgent and often fun, but they can be big time wasters chewing up hours and hours. They are activities akin to chocolate, high calories with no real nutritional benefit. These activities are best either eliminated altogether or, like chocolate eaten on rare occasions, if at all. I know chocolate is hard to give up. It’s this category of things and activities where we tend to default to when we are procrastinating.
We are neurologically hard-wired for fear: It’s part of what has kept us alive. There is, however, a real difference between fear and danger and despite us living in dangerous times, if we let our fears run away with us we will be in a worse state than if we stay on top of our fears. Distinguishing fear from danger makes a huge difference in managing our minds and therefore our ability to cope and act. Even just knowing this can make a difference. Let’s face it, it ain’t easy to be calm when it seems like everyone wants you to join the hysteria.
Before you can lead anyone, you must first leader yourself. A good leader is a good follower and if you are leading yourself it takes following your values, your heart and your principles to do so. That has nothing to do with playing it safe and everything to do with taking a risk. You do that because you have something at stake.
very word you utter, carries intent. That intent manifest through words. It is a moment by moment experience that we are always creating. The first building block of our creation is our thoughts, followed by our words, which we declare, and they are our correlate of prayer. This is true, even if, you are not religious or spiritual.
Your words are like tools; the tools of creation. Words are how we call in what we want and how we affirm our reality.
We all have people in our life “like that”! People that we know we can trust and count on… Don’t we? I can put my hand on my heart and say there is NO ONE in my life that I do not wish to have in it. I only have people in my life I cherish and have a deep mutual respect for.
You either learn to say NO, or you fall victim to other people’s agendas or worse their expectations. What happens when they don’t align with your expectations and values? You end up being resentful. There is an old saying about resentment. It goes like this:
Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Learning to say NO is an act of self-care; it’s an act of courage!
It is not the goal to eliminate the internal dialogue and getting the inner critic under control is essential both from the perspective of creating a compelling vision and from a practical day to day point of view as nobody is at their best when they are down on themselves. If it is true for you that you wouldn’t tolerate being beaten-up on by others, start to demand the same of yourself. After all, you would accept nothing less from others: Lose the double standard.
I found myself in a bind between what I was committed to – a natural birth – and caving in. It was at that point that the midwife, my birthing partner, took me by the hand, held my gaze and said. “You’re doing really well, and you’re almost there. You can do this”.
Did it lessen the pain?
No. After all, no one would have blamed me if I had given up on my birthing plan. Not even me. What it did do, in a moment where I could easily have given up was spur me on. The kind and supportive words of a woman who was in truth, a stranger, involved in one of the most intimate of life’s experiences, held the space for me.
There are no guarantees in life. If you throw your hat in the ring and dare to try something different or create something new, the one thing you can bank on is getting your butt kicked. When you take that as a given, now the choice is simple. Avoid getting your butt kicked, or step onto the court knowing full well you may get a whooping. If not now, it’s coming at some point. And I’m going to do it anyway.