I can be a straight shooter, yet I begin to pull back and soften my stance when it comes to personal relationships. All in the name of preserving relationships. The reality is, not being straight across the board is not only damaging the relationship with the person in front of me, but it’s also damaging the relationship with the person in the mirror, ME.
The cost of that is high.
To be reasonable is to life a small life. Ask yourself this question… Have you ever been inspired by anyone living a small and reasonable life? Reasonable is the middle ground, the centre of the bell curve; it’s where average lives, and it’s predictable. It’s also very dull, and above all, it is soul destroyingly safe!
We just stop talking, we stop offering our ideas, and we start to censor ourselves. The thoughts that run through our mind are they won’t listen in any case, or if I speak up, they won’t hear what I mean, or worse someone else will raise the same point and what do you know that will fly. We say to ourselves why bother; they won’t hear me and we shut ourselves down before someone else has a chance to.
Authenticity is a focus these days and for good reason. Have you ever noticed that Authenticity, Author and Authority all look suspiciously similar? They share similar origins and share a parallel connection that aligns with being self-directed, genuine, and authoritative. YOU are the authority in your own life, and for as long as you surrender that role, you will always be waiting for permission…
We make very different decisions when we see ourselves as a part of something bigger and when we see ourselves as connected to each other. The missing piece is seeing the connection that is at the heart of everything. We are part of not separate from each other any more than our liver is separate to our kidneys. To see things differently, we must look at things differently, which comes down to our motives, perceptions, and context. We have more in common than we realise.
It's key to how you listen if you really want to communicate How often do you argue and eventually you realise that you've been arguing about different things? Or what you thought you were arguing about isn't what you're arguing about at all? Even worse, you can't...
Instead of creating New Year’s Resolutions, what if you were to create Games to play instead? You could say it’s just semantics… New Year’s Resolutions or a game to play it’s all the same. But it isn’t—language matters. Once you’ve resolved something, it means you are resolute about it and can be trapped and disempowered by your own words. How likely are you to want to push yourself forward?
First, published 18 November 2020 in Thrive Global https://thriveglobal.com/stories/theres-always-the-what-happened-and-then-the-story-you-make-up-about-what-happened/? Shift perception, shift behaviour and therefore your results. Setting morality aside, there...
Why is integrity important? Because among other things, it’s foundational! Would you ever build a house on sand? NO, and for obvious reasons, there would be critical underpinning problems and the structure would be likely to subside. You wouldn’t be able to trust it, and that problem would be apparent from the first heavy rain. There would be questions about the building’s performance, wouldn’t there? In short, you couldn’t trust the building because of the foundations not being built on solid ground. And, that’s a key point; a lack of integrity damages trust.
We draw conclusions from our experience, situations, people and circumstances and build up a narrative about ‘how things are’. Then we live like that is The Truth, when in reality, it is a likely story and a potentiality, and not necessarily how things are at all.
And then, we deny ourselves opportunities in life because we believe the stories we are telling ourselves; effectively weaponizing the incompletion, and we use it against ourselves and occasionally against others. That’s neurotic!