There it is persistence! The cold hard truth is; when it comes down to the bottom line the only person you can bank on being “there” for you is YOU. Depending on your relationship with yourself, you’ll either be OK with that or you will tip into despair. Maybe you are somewhere in the middle, telling yourself “well it really depends on where “there” is and what’s going on”. But that’s not much of plan.
Are You Qualified?
Are you qualified to be YOUR final backstop the one to whom YOU will turn when life gets tough? Most of us are not even close to qualified or adequately skilled. As a rule, we do not tell ourselves the truth about ourselves. We are always looking for excuses as to why we didn’t do this or that. Why we didn’t climb that mountain or swim across the proverbial lake to reach our goal. Why do we do this? Is it because we secretly don’t want success, so we self-sabotage? Maybe it is because we lack the confidence to strike out and claim the prize. Most likely, it is a combination of all these things, but NONE of them is the real cause of your lack of success. YOU are probably just not qualified to be “there” for YOU.
Being there for YOU.
Being “there” for YOU means having the tools that enable you to demonstrate the mental fortitude to carry on and take yourself to the next level. To carry on in pursuit of your goals through the tough times. Especially when you are assailed with doubt and ridicule; from yourself as well as others? This comes down to the ability to stay calm and function under fire. AKA Persistence!
“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan Press On! has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.” ― Calvin Coolidge
Cool but How? Where does persistence come from? Mostly from structures, Contribution and the language that we use. “Press On!” is a great slogan as it captures the necessary action, but it does Nothing to provide the “How”. Coolidge’s famous quote sadly disparages one of the keys to persistence Education. In fairness, though, it is education of a particular kind. Persistence as a “choice” of action requires knowledge of how our thinking works.
Rally your RAS
Our Reticular Activating System (RAS) is programmed by events often in our early lives. In simple layman terms, the RAS “records” the patterns associated with specific sensory stimulation and the subsequent outcomes. We use these “recordings” to recognise similar patterns or situations we find ourselves in and then react according to the outcome our RAS tells us is likely to occur, even before it happens! This system is evolutionary and appears designed to ensure our survival from predation and disaster. If the RAS response produces a positive outcome, then all well and good, you have pre-set programs that are taking you where you want to go. Unfortunately for most humans, at some time or another, that will not be the case. That is when a command to “Press On” will not work, you need structural persistence.
First comes accountability, the power of declaring “I will” creates a structure in calling forth support from likeminded individuals, but we will get to Contribution later. (If you haven’t read my last blog on accountability you can do so by clicking here).
The key to Flexible Thinking is recognising you are reacting to the PAST rather than responding to the NOW. Once you can cognise your current reality, you can stop reacting according to your pre-recorded reaction and start responding appropriately. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? And the facts are simple but blocking a programmed reaction and substituting a considered response is a long way from easy! It takes practice and forgiveness: Mostly from yourself, for letting yourself down, but occasionally from others as well. The Andreia Method – Living Consciously will teach you about this and give you some insight into the patterns that are running your life.
Mind Your Language!
“The words you speak become the house you live in.” ― Hafiz
Be careful about the language that you use. I went through a time in my life when I described myself as a “Sh!&! Magnet” If it could happen it was going to happen to me. Whatever could go wrong would go wrong at the worst possible time. I was quite right it did! My language was drawing rubbish and conflict into my life. I was irresponsible with my language, I said whatever I felt like saying and I paid a heavy price for my irresponsibility. It literally cost me millions. My loose tongue also cost me the respect and support of a lot of people. Be careful how you use your language others will be listening and so will you. Think of your words as the rungs on a ladder that can lift you out of despair and transport you to success.
This was my Achilles heel for the longest time and what a difference it made when I was finally able to get a grip on Contribution as a way of Being. Most of us, when asked about Contribution happily lay claim to contributing. After all, it’s an ego boost, particularly for men who sometimes take it to Olympic levels with Mansplaining!! AND Contributing is only half the equation or on reflection about 1% of the equation if that! The real value in displaying Contribution as a way of Being comes in your ability to channel the Contribution others make to you.
Think about it. There is you, and you can know what you know and contributed what you can contribute. What if you could channel the contributions that everyone in your LinkedIn network could make? Or even all of your close family? Think of Contribution as water and you are a water jug. If you are always receiving contribution you will overflow with contributions, it becomes a pleasure, almost a relief to contribute to others and it is effortless. Are you sincerely seeking Contribution? Because if you are not actively seeking Contribution, you are missing out on the most potent Persistence Structure ever conceived.
Hard Wired for Connection
How many times have you heard we are hard-wired for connection, humans anthropologically need other humans, we thrive as a tribe and perish as individuals. AND as wonderful, kind, loving, stable, well-adjusted and truly incredible person as you maybe YOU NEED to receive Contribution. Receiving Contributions from others will turbocharge your efforts to achieve your goals to Inspire, Influence and Impact your world. Those Contributors will help you see whether you are reacting to the past or responding to the NOW. They will be your support when you think you are down to only YOU. AND you must proactively seek them out and get Team YOU in place while the going is good.
Me? I currently have 3 coaches: Bernard Callus is my Executive coach, Toni Lontis is my Internet Radio guide, and O’Ace Dahoud has just taken on the job of coaching me on LinkedIn. In addition to this, I make sure I have regular supportive contact with my peoples. Firstly my amazing partner in Andreia Tanja Caprioli, My family, my friends, my colleagues and those that trained and were in the trenches with me over the years.
These are the people I tap into and actively seek Contribution from. Who are your people?
Persistence isn’t magic.
Persistence isn’t magic, it is not a talent or even a skill. Persistence is about giving and receiving. It is about having the network to fall back on to harness the resources you need. It is about Love for self and others because those that love you will never want to see you fail just like you would never wish failure on those you love. Persistence is the creation and preservation of Empowerment. If you would like Andreia on your team or think one to one coaching would help you click here to get in touch.
First published on Thrive Global 9 July 2020