We use the language of windows and doors constantly and there is a very good reason for this. Nearly every body you ask “would you like to know what happens next?” Will say “sure, why not?” Or make a joke about how if they could do that, they wouldn’t be in whatever job they have now! I’m no different hell if I had a window on the Lottery results do you think I wouldn’t have walked through that door by now?
Every View Looks The Same?
Nearly all of us want a window on the future, mainly because we want to choose the right door. Right now I am very busy tormenting myself on the subject of what’s next for John? Perhaps you too are searching for the next move. Maybe like me, you have a few options, none of which will lead to disaster (at least that’s the view you’re getting from the window you’re looking through). And neither do they fill your heart with desire and drive.
I turned 59 last Friday, so maybe it’s my age? Maybe it all of my life experiences and previous mountains that I have climbed that make committing to a new adventure that much harder. Or maybe it is just that whilst 59 might be the new 49 in reality I remember having a whole lot more energy when I was 49 than I do now at 59! Maybe it’s that the window is a bit foggy or restricted, or maybe I have too many distractions right now to be able to concentrate on the future. Maybe I’m just too busy in the now! Is it FEAR that stops me from just choosing a door and walking through it?
Everyone Reaps What They Sow
The thing about windows and doors is sometimes the view from the window doesn’t match the reality you start experiencing as the fruits of your decision to walk through a particular door. Knowing this potentiality adds to the hesitancy; I miss the impetuous youth I once was. The uncertainty, knowing once you have committed to a course of action the consequences are your’s to live, good bad or indifferent. Is this what it means to be wise? Is wise a euphemism for Fearful?
FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)
Think about it we can lose whichever door we choose. No matter how good the view is from the window, it has a frame and you can’t see everything so there is always a risk. Then there is FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). When you’ve chosen your door, made the commitment you lose the view you had through the windows of opportunity that you had. You’ve turned your back on them in favour of your chosen direction. Not only have you now lost what you could see from those other windows you simply don’t know what other rewards you have passed on by making the choice you have made. Economists call this “opportunity cost.”
Know What You Value
So how do we navigate the windows and doors of life? The answer is Values!
The Cambridge English Dictionary defines values as:
the principles that help you to decide what is right and wrong, and how to act in various situations:
I love the work we do in Andreia and I hope you do too, but it is not my life. In the Living and Leading Consciously Course we talk about Speaking Your Truth and that is how I am solving my dilemma. I must look at the view through each window of opportunity and compare what it offers to my core values and then have the courage to live by those values regardless of the consequences. Walk through the door towards the life the aligns most closely with what I VALUE in life.
UK /ˈvæl.juː/ US /ˈvæl.juː/
the importance or worth of something for someone:
No matter what doors we walk through in life we come into this world on our own and we leave it the same way. We bring nothing in and take nothing out, ergo we must value things accordingly. Setting aside religious beliefs immortality lies in the memories of those you have left behind. That is all that is left once you are gone unless you happen to be in the pantheon of great scholars and good or bad leaders Shakespeare, Einstein, Mandela, Gandhi or even Stalin who live on in the public consciousness for their various works and merits. Even they eventually fade away.
What I Value
Personally, I value how my family will remember who I am and how I lived. My view through the windows of opportunity is adjusted through the lens of what I Value the most, Family! My choice of the door I walk through is then brought into focus and I can walk through it naturally not caring about what I have left behind or what is in front because I am being who I have chosen to BE.
IF you would like to learn more about how to work out your core values as a guide to your future choices click here to book a place at our next demonstration of the Andreia Method and I’ll see you there.