There are times when this “Living Consciously” stuff is hard work! That is not to say it is not worthwhile, just hard work. In my last blog, I suggested you review every decision and or action you are about to take by asking yourself are you acting out of love or fear. How is that going? It’s been tough for me! And it has been illuminating as well.
What I have learned is life is a continuous journey during through which you evolve as a human or you don’t! It depends on your self-awareness, the company you keep and whether you are prepared to do the necessary work to change. This past week has seen a lot of pressure come on at work and at home and how I have reacted has been, as I said, illuminating.
Work and Courage
When I have been operating consciously from love I have been a source of love and strength. However, when I have been operating on automatic I have been held to account as being unnecessarily acerbic. Not much to add to the good news and much to contemplate otherwise. As we all know the automatic default operating system is Fear! If you are reacting verses responding you are not doing the work needed to be conscious of your actions and you are probably falling short of who you want to be.
I know under pressure I have let go of responding according to my current wishes and knowledge relapsing into reacting based on my established patterns. The John I used to be had a way of operating that was not only “not love” it positively engendered fear by steamrolling everything it’s way until I found myself able to relax again! The problem is when you get there you wonder where your friends have gone? Or why those that are left are so gun shy around you? Truly it is a get it done at all cost attitude AND it is completely unnecessary and unhelpful.
The man in the mirror
Here was the shocker for me and maybe you’ll experience this yourself. When Tanja held the mirror up and showed me what she saw I was horrified! My wife describes the behaviour as “airport mode” airports being a major part of my previous life and a huge source of frustration. They were something one must get through ASAP with minimal interaction so as one can relax on the plane! Definitely not operating out of love and consideration for others.
This has been a modality I have utilised for all of my life. When I was a baby I probably screamed until I got what I wanted. It operates by sheer will power and it is definitely how I gained much of my success in life. And it could have been and will be so much better and easier!
Ugly does not equal strong
Nobody wants someone else to fail. We are all under the pump and we all react so much better to kindness than we do to beatings. Kindness begets Love where beating begets Fear. Firm but kind action will preserve connections whereas bloody minded righteousness will destroy relationships at all levels. My purpose in life is to do the hard work necessary make the changes in my life and do so publicly so as maybe another human will relate and say “yeah I get that and if you can change then so can I”.
That takes Courage and do you know what? It’s not hard for me to find that courage so I am all the more guilty of not doing the work when my courage fails me. I have ploughed through some very tough situations using sheer will power and determination. By redirecting the enormous energy needed to do that into the courage to be kind I find myself invigorated. It is easier and more effective to act out of love. You need less energy!
Making the change is Simple not Easy
Making a change is simple and it is far from being easy. What is important is to surround yourself with people who love you and want you to be the best you can be. Then tell them who you want to be and listen when they hold you to account. Adjust your plan and move on. I’m going to be particularly mindful not to flip over to automatic…it is not safe …just yet! I know if I am very careful and consistent one day I will wake up and the old operating system will be a thing of the past. You can do the same.
The world today is awash with ignorance, hate and uncertainty and it doesn’t have to be this way. I am determined to do my bit and change my world by operating out of Love not Fear. I invite you to join in the game and encourage others to play as well because love always wins in the end.
Thank you, Lucille, (my very beautiful and tolerant wife) and my ever vigilant and caring partner in crime, Tanja.